Bridges
Good morning you breezy, spring bloomers.
After almost five years of digging and pitching, outlining and re-outlining, breaking and re-breaking, writing, rewriting and trashing, giving up and starting again, losing hope, losing my way, and being lifted up by family, friends and my creative community - BOOK 9 IS DONE* (*ish.)
This is my white board that once housed the index cards with Book 9’s plot - and, as you can see, the cards were up there FOR AWHILE. The book is with three lovely writerly friends and my agent now. I’ll get notes and we’ll go in for another pass, but dear lord, I feel… tragically and hilariously lost now.
The writing of this book has been my constant companion. It was an absolute divine joy as well an elephant’s foot on my chest. And - for the last four months especially - it’s what I did with every free, spare moment of my life. Writing from 530-830 every morning before going into my Day Job and all day Sunday, it was my sole focus. It took everything I had and I was grateful to finally give it - especially after all the cancer stuff.
But, what do I do now? I find myself on this wobbly bridge between the last five years and whatever comes next. I’m excited, hopeful and proud, but also exquisitely tender, anxious and more than a little scared.
I also think a lot of us are on this wobbly bridge right now asking big questions, feeling compelled to make big changes and setting out on a brand new adventure - whether out of necessity, tragedy or curiosity.
Being between the solid ground of that which was certain and the foggy, uncertain land awaiting us on the other side, has a tendency to amplify and distort every feeling, thought and emotion. Because knowing academically you need to move on is very different than holding on for dear life as the bridge sways in the wind under your feet, unsure if you’re going to be pitched into the choppy waters below.
What’s making this crossing even more treacherous is that we ourselves are so changed. We are not the same people we were two years ago. We are not even the same people we were one year ago. And our little baby deer legs + a wobbly bridge + uncertain lands on the other side = sleepless nights, feeling overwhelmed, beautiful, but raw and vulnerable connections, lack of focus, fluttery chests full of terrifying hope, crying for “no reason” and a deep grief for the person you left back on those certain shores.
Searching for answers (or more likely trying to find a way out or around the wobbly bridge) one of my favorite Instagram follows posted something right when I needed to see it. It confirmed what I’d been feeling - and fearing a little, tbh - was the next right thing:
To beginnings…
Each month, I’ll gather:
❤️funny tweets
🤩stuff to watch, read and listen to
🤝great follows on social media
🌈 music to soothe
🕯calming things
*****
❤️
🤩
I’ve been really enjoying Moon Knight. And the soundtrack is incredible, especially THIS banger at the end of Episode 2.
Samantha Irby’s substack is truly hilarious and wonderful.
I really loved Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart series.
I’m on to Ben Aaronovitch’s next offering in his Rivers of London series, Lies Sleeping.
So, this was one of those rabbit hole watches - here’s how it happened: So, I was watching Time Team - as you do - and the first episode (dating back to 1994) was on Alfred the Great. (liza hits pause, googles ‘who is Alfred the Great?) So, I learned all about Alfred the Great, then saw that The Last Kingdom was about EXACTLY what I’d been researching and in fact, the first season ended in the exact place where the Time Team was. How could I NOT watch all five seasons?
My friend recommended the late, great Andre Leon Talley’s memoir, The Chiffon Trenches. And she was right - it’s incredible.
I really loved Anatomy of a Scandal (tw: sexual assault) - it made me want to read more Sarah Vaughn.
I watched The Batman last night and really liked it! The SCORE is really good, too.
🤝
Follow Black Food Fridays for all things culinary and delicious.
Follow Ashley Carter for vintage and thrifted looks and all around cute outfits.
Follow Rise and Root Farm for all your fresh produce and gardening needs.
🌈
🕯
My Brother-in-Law sent me an offering from Spoonful of Comfort during last year’s cancer stuff, and since then I’ve sent two offerings myself to friends in need. It really is wonderful and so comforting.
For my niece’s graduation, naturally I had to send her THIS for her cat as ‘they’re going places!’
This is less an item and more of a place, but Altadena Beverage + Market is really wonderful. If you’re in the area, check em out!
🥰 I am here. Together, we will endeavor to just do the next right thing. 🥰
See you on the last Monday of every month.