Flight Checks
Good morning you balmy summertime lovelies.
I don’t know what it was about this past month - it took every last drop I had to crawl to the finish. (Or as my mother lovingly pep talked me over the weekend, ‘you’re like that one marathoner who shit herself right before the finish line, but you know… she finished and so will you.’) But, as I started to plan for some time off, I began noticing this weird Anxiety Echo bouncing around inside my chest. This little whisper of a fear that without my routine I would spin in.
Some background on the term ‘spin in.’ Both my grandparents were flyers (if you read my Captain Marvel YA, Jack and Bonnie Thompson are based on them) and my grandfather used to call the act of - shall we say - losing one’s head (whether a little or a lot) as “spinning in” - named after the scary circumstance where a pilot finds themselves in a seemingly uncontrollable spiral towards land. The term quickly entered our Family Shorthand Pantheon and became synonymous with that sensation (or rather fear) of uncontrollably spiraling below the mental health water line.
But, in thinking about it in this abstract/tangible way - I kind of unlocked a missing piece. If a plane is spinning in, couldn’t an experienced pilot be able to (at least TRY) to pull the plane back up to safety? And hasn’t the Mental Health Gauntlet we’ve all had navigate over the past 18 hard ass months transformed us all into far more experienced pilots? That in managing to fly our planes through this seemingly unrelenting storm, we’ve gained a far deeper and hard-won wisdom than we’d once had previously?
It was in asking this question that I started thinking about the things I learned to do over the past 18 months that pulled my plane out of its spiral. I sat down to make a list, and it surprised me how outwardly mundane it was:
Drink some water
Get some fresh air
Take a shower
Do a crossword
Brew a cup of tea
Reach out to a friend
Eat an apple
Do something for someone
Take a drive
Drive through Starbucks and get a fun drink
Play Animal Crossing
Have I eaten?
And the list goes on and on with what appear to be tiny, little rocks piled up in front of what I once thought was The Goliath Spin-In Problem.
It’s so funny* (*super annoying) how I keep having to learn this same lesson. That it’s not going to be some lightning bolt moment where all my scary, shadowy shit just disappears one day - more likely, it’s going to fade one vulnerable text to a friend at a time, one glass of water at a time, and one deep breath on my front porch at a time as I begin to trust myself as the experienced pilot that I am becoming. That we’re ALL becoming.
Do you have your own list of Flight Checks? If not, I highly recommend it.
Each month, I’ll gather:
❤️funny tweets
🤩stuff to watch, read and listen to
🤝great follows on social media
🌈 music to soothe
🕯calming things
*****
❤️
🤩
There are so many good albums out and/or coming out:
The new Killers album is (as my friend said) “wonderful and depressing” and boy is it ever. Do start with the title track… it’ll make you want to take a long drive and think. (thank you to Annie for this one)
Little Simz has a new one - coming out September 3rd - and that first track? I remember hearing it somewhere and went on one of those old-school song hunts? I wouldn’t stop until I found it. Googling random lyrics I remembered… needless to say I’m excited for the full album.
Yebba has a new record - Dawn - coming out on September 10th and the couple of singles she’s dropped leading up to it have made me even more excited for the whole record.
And dear lord Kacey Musgraves upcoming album - also dropping on September 10th - is going to be incredible if the first two tracks are any hint. Also the companion movie? I can’t wait.
There’s legit too many. In September alone? We’ve got (finally) Lil Nas’ full Montero album, a new one from James Blake, José Gonzales, Sleigh Bells, and even a remix from Brittany Howard.
IT’S AN EMBARRASSMENT OF RICHES
Oh look, some more Brene Brown podcast links. I’m nothing if not predictable. So, this month I listened to this 6-part series she did with her sisters around the 10 year anniversary of the Gifts of Imperfection. I think we’re all so wrung out (especially creatively), so I’m looking forward to just… taking an inventory, if that makes sense? I’m going to start re-reading the Gifts in September.
I cannot stress enough how frickin’ wonderful Starstruck is. I was utterly swept away.
I also finally watched Ted Lasso and yep, it’s as great as everyone says it is. (thank you to Adam for this one)
Samantha Irby is an all around delight (please scour her playlists for HOURS of enjoyment), but dear lord did she take it to the next level with her Li’l Yachty Playlist on Spotify.
This piece about grief in The Atlantic is … it’s just breathtaking. (thank you to Erik and Jessica for this one)
So, Glow Up on Netflix is a delight. There are 3 seasons up and they all seem to hit that perfect sweet spot of “I’m super fried, but would like to watch something good but that won’t ask a lot of me.”
I watched Rogue One again? Damn thats a great movie. And, needless to say, as a huge Diego Luna fan - I am VERY excited about the upcoming, Andor.
I’ve loved Sally Rooney’s first two novels, so I canNOT wait to dig into her newest, Beautiful World, Where Are You?
🤝
Follow Dr. Darien Sutton for super accessible answers and conversations around everything medical and he’s just a calming wonderful force in your timeline.
Follow Abisola Omole for her truly gorgeous design, but also beware because you are DEFINITELY going to want the stuff she makes.
Follow SimiMoonlight for all things style + fashion inspiration.
🌈
🕯
I’ve discussed this AT LENGTH with friends, but YES fine I have a candle problem. (see emoji above)
Have I bought all of Joanna Gaines’ offerings? Yes, and I believe the new candles solved a lot of the issues with the original line (super smoky and sooty candle vessels) - I’m currently waiting on trying the Gathered scent for the first time.
PF Candle just released their holiday line, and I have it on good intel (thank you Zoë) that their Vanilla and Ghost Pepper is “cuddly but not cloying” and “just a little spicy to cut the sweet.”
And I don’t want to be a bad influence, but if I’m going down this rabbit hole YOU’RE COMIN WITH ME - so, here’s a great WireCutter run down of all the best candles.
For my birthday my friend got me this INCREDIBLE candle flight from Made by DWC - an incredible organization worth supporting.
This summer has been wonderful, but also mosquito riddled. A friend of mine used some of this Murphy’s Mosquito Repellent Balm and really loved it, so I bought some AND some of the citronella candles. (thank you Jessica for this one)
So, the product that is sweeping the internets is THIS Lemongrass Coconut Body Oil from Trader Joe’s. Yes, it’s wonderful, but it’s Secret Super Power? It’s apparently? A FANTASTIC mosquito repellent. (thank you to Hiaj for this intel)
I also, since apparently this entire newsletter is now entirely about mosquitos, made a baking soda paste (baking soda + water) to stem the itching? And it TOTALLY worked.
I’ve re-upped all of my Body Butter Lady products - her stuff is just better than anything and the smellllls of em? Are so lush and bright.
BUT, if I did have to chose a lighter lotion for every day, it would be legit ANYTHING from Shea Moisture. My mom swears by their lotion saying it’s light, lush and protects and moisturizes your skin all day.
I was sitting around with a few friends and we all agreed that the canned alcohol boom is LONG overdue and truly wonderful. The one we were drinking at the time were these Absolut Grapefruit Palomas, which are dangerously refreshing. And OH LOOK a Wirecutter article listing their favorites.
🥰 I am here. Together, we will endeavor to just do the next right thing. 🥰
See you on the last Monday of every month.