The Book of Margie
Good morning, you sweet tired babies.
After the election, I found myself sitting in a circle with complete strangers talking about the path ahead. I was still really scared of myself – overwhelmed, full of rage and unreachable. Hopelessness was starting to encase me in concrete.
And then I met Margie.
We went around the circle and each of us was supposed to share what we felt this time was calling us to be. Everyone was so broken. But, Margie was different. She looked wrung out, like the rest of us, but she had… something in her eyes. When it came time for her to share, she leaned forward in her chair. She was probably in her mid70s - beautiful gray hair and a voice that felt like good bourbon. She said that this time was calling her to be discerning – and she now knew who she needed to be to meet this moment.
And what she needed to be was “grit in the gears.”
Margie looked around the circle and made eye contact with each one of us as she said:
“We may not be able to stop ‘em, but we sure as shit can slow ‘em down.”
-Margie
I haven’t stopped thinking about Margie since that day and how I too can be grit in the gears. Since then, I’ve come up with a few things that have helped me:
Get Off My Phone
To combat feeling overwhelmed, I drastically cut down my time on the internet - a choice which has inconveniently smoked out my Not So Little Phone Addiction. In desperation, I brought out some puzzles for the evening and one day at a time I’m absently picking up my phone 1% less. But, dear lord it’s been VERY eye opening.
Yes, I need to be informed - so I know how and where to be Grit in the Gears - but I don’t need to mainline this administration’s arsenic into my veins day in and day out. This time around I will not give this administration my peace, if they want it they’re going to have to fucking take it.
No Broad Strokes
As much as I want to default to Broad Strokes (i.e. “everything is terrible.”) I need to find the courage to look closer, get messy and be discerning, just like Margie said. Hopelessness, rage and nihilism are so tempting, because they offer me the clean lines of certainty in an uncertain world. One day at a time, I must challenge myself to wade into the muddy, complex and nuanced waters of hope.
I cannot be Grit in the Gears if I am overwhelmed, dysregulated and hopeless.
Community
We need our beloveds now more than ever and they need us. Please fight back against encasing yourself in concrete and let yourself love and be loved by your people. I know it’s hard. We’re scared, fragmented and strangers to even ourselves right now. But, maybe just try. Just reach out.
A friend of mine said it best, “…wherever we are, we need to plant and gather.”
Nature
There is something so healing about nature and I know it’s getting colder and darker - but is there a local garden you can visit? Can you sit on your stoop with your morning tea? Can you open a window and just let yourself breathe in the brisk winter air? We need to remind ourselves of the here and now, what IS - and by planting our little tired bodies in the lush, real world - and getting off our phones - we get this wonderful grounding.
Our writer’s group wrote in a beautiful garden this past week. And I found myself at ease, smelling the lavender and smiling again. By getting just a glimpse of okayness, it made me 1% better at seeing that I CAN feel good - even if just for a few moments. But, those few moments begot a little spark of hope.
This administration has made it abundantly clear which communities they are going to target. And as a cis, white uterus-less (thanks cancer!) woman who lives in California, I am uniquely qualified to provide cover. Rather than expend all my energy on the bullies, I choose instead to focus on protecting the innocent human beings who will be affected the most with whatever sword I can muster. Instead of hyper-focusing on the problem, I am going to find a way to be a part of the solution.
Can you find a group, organization or even just one person that needs your help to be grit in the gears?
Or? Maybe just make someone’s holidays a little brighter?
***
On the eve of the election, my prayer was “May this country vote to protect the meek among us.” What I’ve come to realize is that the prayer is actually, “May I protect the meek among us.”
I am here. I am with you. And together we will be grit in the gears.
And we will endure.
Each month, I’ll gather:
🤩stuff to watch, read and listen to
🌱 cool crafts to do with your litto hands
🌈 music to soothe
🥑 good food and great places to eat and drink
🕯calming things
*****
🤩
I absolutely love Inspector Ellis on Acorn - there are only 2 episodes so far, but I’m hooked.
I found the Marlowe Murder Club on PBS and I love it - three curious ladies solving crimes in an adorable British village: SIGN ME UP.
You and I both know I love a Narrow Boat. I found THIS LOVELY YOUTUBE CHANNEL and it’s just pure calm. Her shots are so beautiful and the landscape is lush and gorgeous.
We also know how much I love watching other people camp - and Soonnae has got the best tents and the best set ups - she’s so organized and I swear, it just… why are camping gadgets so intoxicating?
I watched the entire season of Agatha All Along in one weekend - dear lord, it’s so good.
🌱
(Because I am now pretty much off the internet, I decided to change this section to things you can make and do with your litto hands)
Have you ever thought about doing a Common Place book? I’M OBSESSED.
Have you ever wanted to try painting with watercolors?
My niece turned me onto Ella Emhoff’s wonderful Substack of Soft Crafts.
I especially loved her Knitting 101 Video.
🌈
🥑
How about learning from Maangchi about how to make an incredibly cuddly mug of jujube tea?
What about your house smelling like mulling spices?
🕯
‘Tis the season, so I can’t post all the stuff I bought recently because it’s for Little Lovey’s Christmas gifts. I’ll post them all after the holidays, I promise.
Thank you, Liza. And thanks to Margie. This is wonderful & grounded advice.
I love ALL of this. Thank you ❤️❤️