The Difference
Good morning you fun size, autumnal lovelies.
I was texting with a friend the other day about a particularly action packed week I’d had and kept using the word “wild” to describe it. A catch-all word that means nothing and everything, right? So, she pressed - Good Wild or Bad Wild?
We were texting on a Friday night. I was watching Howl’s Moving Castle - a movie that feels like a dream to me. It’s starting to get cold here and I was cozy under one of my favorite soft blankets. Someone across the street had already put up Christmas lights and they twinkled just outside my front window. I felt contented.
Good Wild or Bad Wild.
And as her question lingered, I realized I needed to drill down on what I was actually describing as “wild.” And I finally concluded that it wasn’t the week or the action or what happened - what I was describing as WILD was The Difference in me between how I’d experienced a week like that two or three years ago and how I’m experiencing it NOW.
What was wild was The Difference.
And this whole The Difference thing, reminded me of what it’s been like over the years with friends and family who’ve had babies. And you don’t feel any older, but all the sudden these BABIES became KIDS and (gulp) ADULTS and they make you see the passage of time in this incredibly, inconveniently tangible way. And I think for so many of us returning to places, experiences and even people from a few years ago - we’re having that same incredibly, inconveniently tangible moment of… I didn’t think I’d changed, but clearly I was mistaken.
And I think, unfortunately, this is a Good Wild/Bad Wild situation. Because so often, I am far too quick to brand moments laden with complicated feelings tangled up in the The Difference with “bad” simply because I feel uncomfortable in them. But just because the feeling is temporarily bad, doesn’t mean what’s happening is too.
Because that discomfort in The Difference is actually a Good Thing. That discomfort means that we’re growing. That in the broken concrete that these last few years have been for all of us, there’s a little green sprout. Of Hope. Of knowing ourselves way better. Of understanding what we want and need. Of finally seeing our inherent beauty, worth and value. Of seeing how resilient and brave we can be. Of falling in love with ourselves a little bit more. Of learning what really matters.
So however wild it feels to navigate The Difference these days - we must continue to water that little green sprout even when it feels like the broken concrete is winning.
❤️❤️❤️
Election Day is Tuesday, November 8th. Please make a plan to vote, if you haven’t already, and if you need any information THIS LINK can help get you started.
Each month, I’ll gather:
❤️funny tweets
🤩stuff to watch, read and listen to
🤝great follows on social media
🌈 music to soothe
🕯calming things
*****
❤️
🤩
I am absolutely LOVING Magpie Murders.
I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Off Menu, when Sir Lenny Henry mentioned the Great British Menu. So, of course I did my due diligence and found SO MANY EPISODES that are streaming… imsohappy.
We finally got a new song from Rihanna AND we got a new one from Hozier last month AND Taylor Swift and Carly Rae Jepsen both released new albums.
I really loved Sheng Wang’s stand up special on Netflix.
My TBR list is TEETERING, but I’ve bumped Mary Robinette Kowal’s latest, The Spare Man, to the top.
If you want to feel instantly like it’s Autumn in New York, please listen to Samara Joy and then go find all her music because it’s making every day better.
I love a rock documentary and THIS one about Creedence Clearwater Revival is next on my list.
Omar Apollo’s Tiny Desk Concert is INCREDIBLE.
🤝
Follow Radha Sivyer for truly mesmerizing bespoke furniture and beautiful wood working.
Follow Tung Chiang, the Clay Studio Director for Heath Ceramics, for gorgeous ceramics and incredible travels.
Follow Alyson Morgan for lush, romantic vignettes that sweep you into her serene and beautiful world.
🌈
Mitski - The Only Heartbreaker
🕯
Welp. I bought my advent calendar. NOW in the past I’ve done THIS one and THIS one, but this year? I went HERE.
If you can take one of Yumi Sakugawa’s workshops I HIGHLY recommend them. She’s truly brilliant.
All right, this one is pricier than I’m used to - which is why I’ve been asking for it as a gift for YEARS - and finally got one from my parents for my last birthday. THIS FUCKING PILLOW is seriously the GD best. I don’t know what dark magic it does - but at first you’re like OH GOD it’s too giant and … then your head just nestles right down into it without it being too hard or too soft. Pillows are SUPER personal, but right after I got mine my parents got two for themselves as well and are full converts. (but it’s expensive, so tread carefully.)
I love an essential oil, but I was recently staying at a friend’s house and she put some ESSENTIAL OIL onto SOME DRYER BALLS and dear lord my laundry smelled so loooovely - i’m totally doing this at home from now on.
I’ve been using THIS moisturizer for the past six months now and it is just wonderful - it’s light on my skin AND I didn’t break out (which has happened before) AND it’s got a nice SPF on there for good measure. THIS moisturizer, however, will forever be my old stand-by.
🥰 I am here. Together, we will endeavor to just do the next right thing. 🥰
See you on the last Monday of every month.
How was I not already signed up for this?! Bless Brenda Murphy for sharing the link! This is so lovely and I'm very content to see we share a love of Advent calendars. I may have purchased more than one already. And now I want the one you got this year. Lol
I absolutely love this observation and comment Liza. I'm right there with you. I knew I'd changed... but I truly feel like I'm a different person. Completely more myself. Far more comfortable with navigating the uncomfortable. What a gift from such a difficult time in our lives collectively. Btw... I need some great book recommendations.