Try a Little Tenderness
Good Morning you summertime, open-window drivers.
I knew it was a questionable decision when I made it. I knew there was no going back the second I pressed that button, and I … I did it anyway. (liza gazes dramatically out a window, then reverently whispers) ididitanyway.
On a quiet night in June, mentally exhausted after a hard day of work, I chose to watch Inside Out by myself.
On some level, I HAD to know what I was unleashing on myself. It’s like queuing up Jeff Buckley’s Hallelujah and shrugging, “this should be fine.” YOU KNOW. WE KNOW.
And I was kind of holding it together until I got to:
Joy : I just wanted Riley to be happy...
[Joy picks up the sad core memory of Riley crying in school. As she looks at it, she begins to sob, and completely breaks down into hopeless tears while Bing Bong sadly looks on. Joy's tears fall onto the happy memory orb of Riley after the Prairie Dog hockey game. As Joy wipes the tear off of it, she scrolls through the memory to see it was previously a sad memory turned happy. The sad portion consists of Riley sitting sadly with her parents on a tree branch. Curiously, Joy "rewinds" the memory to the point where Mom and Dad came to Riley to comfort her. Joy begins to hear Sadness's description of the memory in her head]
Sadness : [v.o] It was the day the Prairie Dogs lost the big playoff game. Riley missed the winning shot, she felt awful. She wanted to quit.
[Joy scrolls through the memory to see the blue sad memory of her and her parents turn a happy yellow when Riley's friends come to cheer her on]
Joy : Sadness... Mom and Dad... the team. They came to help... because of Sadness.
***
Now, we’re not even going to TALK about fuckin’ Bing Bong, and… this moment ALWAYS wrecked me, but this time around there was something particularly acute about it - especially as we each embark on whatever comes next during this Great Reset moment in time.
Lately, I’ve been feeling that with each yellow joyous moment I’ve experienced in the past month - there is this choked-up, blue haze just underneath. A poignancy, a thoughtfulness, a little blue murmur of something that I could never really name until I saw Joy playing and rewinding those memory orbs.
Because the joy we’re feeling these days can so easily be rewound and scrolled back to the deep sadness, trauma and fear of the last 15 months. It’s almost like we now actually understand- or are beginning to - the HOW of joy, the DEPTH of joy, and all its beautiful, complicated layers.
So, what I need to keep reminding myself - with the help of Otis Redding, of course - is that instead of expecting or demanding that I be or act a certain way right now, that perhaps I should try a little tenderness.
For others, for myself… for all of it.
Each month, I’ll gather:
❤️funny tweets
🤩stuff to watch, read and listen to
🤝great follows on social media
🌈 music to soothe
🕯calming things
*****
❤️
🤩
My obsession with Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead podcast continues and I’ve got three doozies for you this month: THIS one with Dr. Sarah Lewis had me staring off into space for hours after listening. Especially around the idea of “aesthetic force.” THIS one with Michael Bungay Stanier made me really look at how I give and ask for advice. And then THIS one with Simon Sinek really helped me challenge that scarcity mindset I can slide into at times. Really REALLY good.
Ooooof, Ashley C. Ford’s memoir, Somebody’s Daughter, is just… BREATHTAKING.
Okay. I just watched Cabaret for the first time. There are single moments in that movie I’ve been thinking about ever since.
You know I love a good cozy mystery, and Whitstable Pearl has got it all: YES she owns a local seafood restaurant, and YES he’s a fancy London cop stuck in a beachside town… I mean, what else do you need?
And apparently I’m now in the Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy portion of this pandemic. I actually don’t even know how many times I’ve watched it at this point.
🤝
Follow SÜPRMARKT to learn more about this amazing organization that offers affordable organics and is working to end America’s Food Apartheid.
Follow Kellie Brown’s home decor account AIGDhome for truly great interiors and carousels of wonderful found items that could be yourrrs.
Follow Kanoa Greene for amazing work outs and just… a joy and timeline cleanse whenever she posts.
🌈
🕯
My plant based cream cheese experiment continues. For those just joining us, THIS one is smooth and sweet-ish. THIS one is dense and tangy. And THIS newest is the most (side eye). It tastes fiiiiine, but boy does it look like melted wax goin on. So… govern yourselves accordingly.
It’s that time again - Iced Tea Tiiiiime. And I absolutely LOVE all of Tea Pigs flavors - they’re so bright and fresh (not how some iced teas just taste watered down dish water) I also do their Iced Tea Pitcher Bags, too… and just so good.
I know I’ve said this before, but Little Seed Farm has THE BEST skin stuff. I use their moisturizer and charcoal soap religiously. I really wish they made a shower gel, but until then I bought some of their bar soaps and Imma try em. I’ll report back!
Also, (and again because I can’t stop talking about it apparently) here is Maangchi’s recipe for saenggangcha once again - lately, I’ve been putting it in ice water (and morning smoothies) and it’s so refreshing and settles my stomach.