Quicksanding
Good morning you tentative exhalers.
I’ve started to break this time down into Phases. There was the Thor: Ragnarok and puzzle phase, the Jane Austen phase, the truly bizarre Frozen 2 phase and now I’m in the Qi phase. I’ve watched untold seasons and this newsletter is dangerously close to becoming a full blown Sandi Toksvig stan account.
I was watching some episode the other night where they were talking about quicksand and (now get ready for me paraphrasing what I kiiinnnnd of learned with what I can kiiiind of remember due to my current Goldfish Brain) was surprised to find out that it’s not the quicksand that’ll kill ya, it’s that you’ve walked on water-soaked sand, gotten stuck and now the tide’s coming in. So, it’s the water that actually gets you.
Which is when I put THAT together with this other phenomenon that’s been happening.
Throughout this pandemic, there have been these pockets of time - I’m at my desk and I get sucked into social media or I’ve woken up in the middle of the night and am now just lying in bed or I’m watching some default episode of a default show that plays just a little TOO much in the background. In the beginning, I started to label these times as an almost baseline reset or suspended animation, me trying to just sit down and shut everything out or off or something.
But, then I learned about quicksand.
And I realized that those pockets of time weren’t a baseline reset or shutting anything out. What I thought was a harmless, static behavior was actually me getting stuck in water-soaked sand - that meaninglessly scrolling through social media was actually super agitating to me, that lying in bed at night more often than not made way for that super fun “catastrophic what if game” that late night/early mornings seem to breed and that having that default episode of that default show playing in the far background hurt - not helped - my mental health more often than not.
Just like quicksand, it wasn’t getting stuck in the sand that got me, it was when the tide came in.
I would catch myself in these quicksanding behaviors and then OUTLOUD I would say, “You need to make a choice, you’re quicksanding.” And in the beginning, I thought that meant action - I need to get up and DO something. That was partially correct. Yes, I need to DO something, but I DO NOT to be productive. What I need to DO, is check in with myself. That was the tectonic shift.
Everyone is different, but for me it’s about going back into Alfred mode. I’m quicksanding, so what is that I need: Do I need rest? Have I eaten? Do I need to reach out to a friend? Do I need to get some things down on paper? Do I need a nice cup of tea? Have I been outside today? What loving thing do I need to provide for myself that will act as the hand reaching deep into the quicksand to pull me to safety before the tide comes in.
So, as we go into this next month - what are some of your quicksanding behaviors and what would Alfred do to help get you to safety before the tide comes in?
Until next time…
Each month, I’ll gather:
❤️funny tweets
🤩stuff to watch, read and listen to
🤝great follows on social media
🌈 music to soothe
🕯calming things
*****
❤️
🤩
Amanda Gorman is a triumph and I am pre-ordering ALL of HER BOOKS.
Just Jenn is truly a baking genius. Following her on Instagram is just you mumbling to yourself, “Wait… she baked Baby Yoda cookies AND a Skittle cake and just… wait, THAT’s what she made for dinner???” She has a new I Love Lucy cookbook out that I can’t wait to flip through and marvel at just like everything else she does.
I binge watched all four episodes of the latest Chef’s Table: BBQ. Just gorgeous.
I know I’ve mentioned the Great Pottery Throwdown before, but I have now watched all three seasons on HBOMax and I think it’s wonderful.
I knew about Malcolm Gladwell/Rick Rubin’s podcast, Broken Record - lotta Song Exploder vibes - but because I now have a Goldfish Brain, I completely forgot about it only to “rediscover it” when a friend sent it to me again and I was like OH YEAH - and it’s got 86 episodes now!? Dear lord. It’s great btw and I’m happy to be experiencing it, apparently, for the first time over and over again. 😭😭😭
My friend, Tony, made a wonderful 2020 Spotify playlist that both encapsulates 2020, but is also somehow really lovely and hopeful. (if that’s possible)
🤝
Follow Sergio Hudson, the fashion designer who crafted Michelle Obama’s already iconic inauguration outfit - as well as Madam Vice President Harris’ black outfit.
Follow Meredith Koop, the stylist who put Michelle Obama’s look together.
(read the caption on the post below - it’s so good.)
Follow Christopher Rogers, the fashion designer who crafted Madam Vice President’s beautiful inaugural look. And that gorgeous camel asymmetrical coat she wore the night before? PYER MOSS.
🌈
🕯
I was doing OKAY with sleep but then - you know - the insurrection happened and it was just… NOPE. THIS was the sleep-mask Wirecutter said was the best and I AGREE. Yes, it looks like a li’l bra, but the extra space in the eyeballs makes it so you don’t feel claustrophobic and it’s soft and snug on your head without feeling like you’re being head-choked.
My hair is the longest it’s ever been - so, I’ve been looking for new ways to keep it as healthy as possible until I can get it cut again. I got THIS hair mask to try and it smells wonderful and really works.
I’m a huge fan of Unity Coffee - they’re my go-to daily cuppa - and they just started making THESE single-serving steeping packs and I love em and then I got sad because they would be GD perfect for traveling. (Liza sits in corner and sobs for an hour)
Speaking of Goldfish Brain, a few writer friends of mine were talking about THIS MIRACULOUS CLOCK that basically sets an array of timers and you just keep flipping the clock around and the timers start up. (I’m explaining it horribly) BUT, it has really helped me to focus in on tasks. Here’s a video set to electronic music to see how it works.